I am having a very bad day.
Posted 2:25 PM by Kerry O.

You can't possibly be serious ** On a further note from that crack cocaine baby story yesterday, I came across this this morning, and I'm speechless:

"We cannot take children away based on parents using crack cocaine or any drug," said Dolores Reid, deputy assistant director for the state Division of Children, Youth and Families, the agency that oversees CPS. "We have to have evidence that the parent is not feeding the child, not keeping the child clean or not supervising the child." (italics my own editorial exaggeration)

Now, wait a minute here. I am so confused, I feel like Osama bin Laden at a Promise Keepers rally. So, these two women were subjecting the 2 children who already existed to crack cocaine smoke on a daily basis, CPS knew about it, and it ultimately led to the death of a newborn... And there was nothing they could do?! I am postively enraged. But you know, if they'd had evidence that the baby wasn't f---ing clean they could have done something?! Yeah, that's logical. I literally am so mad I could spit. There is no excuse for this, and I think they should be held partially responsible for this baby's death. They absolutely knew the environment this baby was going home to, and they did nothing about it. Just sickening.
Posted 9:24 AM by Kerry O.

Comments ** Well, I have no idea where my comments went. Hope nobody feels chatty today!

This weekend cannot get here fast enough. The game was fun last night, and I'm in a much better mood. But now my friend gave me a copy of Chicken Soup for the Expectant Mother's Soul, and I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch of the cabin in Flagstaff, in the gorgeous weather, and just reading. Ahhh, paradise. But no, right now I'm sitting at work, with too much to do and jeans that have gotten so tight around the tummy now I probably won't be able to wear them after today until next April. Fabulous!
Posted 9:12 AM by Kerry O.

Ugh ** I'm a big bundle of stress right now. Today got really really crazy busy, and I can't stay late because we're going to a baseball game with 200 other people from work. To boot, I don't feel great today, and I didn't get much sleep. Now my loving husband tells me we might be able to go to Flagstaff Saturday morning. I really wanted to go up on Friday afternoon, so we could have at least one day to completely relax. No, now we have to get up early Saturday morning, drive 2 hours north, "relax" for the day/evening, wake up Sunday, "relax" for the morning/day, and drive 2 hours home in the afternoon/evening, only to get up for work on Monday morning at 5:30 a.m. That is not the relaxation I've been craving for weeks. But it was either fight about it and make it worse, or quietly cave in. I caved in but now I'm pissy. That's probably not much better. Good thing he's not going with me tonight (he told me he had to work, then found out he doesn't - of course). He wouldn't like my mood.

Anyway, off to Hard Rock Cafe and a Diamondbacks game. That ought to cheer me up. Have a nice evening!
Posted 4:26 PM by Kerry O.

Perspective of a prenatal woman ** Okay, this woman killed her 10-day-old baby by subjecting it to a constant stream of crack cocaine smoke. Explain this to me. I actually don't feel as angry as I expected to; I feel something worse... Pity. How disgusting has your life gotten when you are nine months pregnant, already in jail on prostitution charges, and you are arrested for the death of your baby from crack cocaine poisoning 9 months ago? And of course, she smoked it with her own mother. This is even more disgusting. But this woman has 2 other kids, 1 and 2 years old, one of whom was born with cocaine in its system too. So when the second crack baby was born and doctors had to spend three days nursing her to health after birth, why wasn't CPS immediately involved? There is obviously a problem here. And while I can admit that I think sometimes CPS gets involved where they shouldn't, this is not one of those times. Furthermore, look at this math... This poor, crack-addicted baby was born at 5 3/4 pounds. The doctors spent three days clearing the cocaine out of her system and nursing her to health. The day before the baby died (at 10 days old, so this was on Day 9!) it was rushed to the hospital after vomiting, crying and having "refused to eat for several days." The baby weighed a little over 4 pounds. So between days 4 and 9, this mother smoked so much crack cocaine that she poisoned and watched her newborn infant die. Explain to me how a human being can do this, because I do not understand.

You should have to take a psychological and personal evaluation to be a parent.
Posted 9:42 AM by Kerry O.

Insurance ** I just did a little research and confirmed what I already thought was true. The entire cost of having this baby, from conception to walking in our front door with a baby in our arms is....... $15.00. What a steal! I love my insurance company, and I love my job for offering it!
Posted 9:06 AM by Kerry O.

911 ** I stumbled across this on CNN.com a little while ago. It's a very interesting digital archive of emails, stories, photographs and more from September 11th. It's professionally done and very interesting.
Posted 3:33 PM by Kerry O.

Yeah, great, right ** So, I'm sitting here. I'm sleepy. Not exhausted like I didn't get enough sleep, just sleepy like it's raining outside and I'm pregnant and really I could sleep anywhere, anytime. So I rest my eyes. I swear I just shut them, like a long blink, and an associate walks up. She's just one of those people who drives you to alcoholism, she's so irritating sometimes. In her eyes, she has just seen me falling asleep. Great. I'm sure I'll be the topic of conversation at her dinner table tonight.
Posted 3:15 PM by Kerry O.

Raindrops keep fallin' ** I don't think there are many more beautiful things to a native Phoenician than rain so heavy it leaves trail marks down my office windows. This building is almost completely soundproof, but it's creating this very very quiet hiss or hum if you listen carefully. And I am! Thank God for rain in a desert that so desperately needs it!
Posted 2:15 PM by Kerry O.

Rainy days and Mondays ** No, unfortunately it is not raining. It's cloudy though, and from inside my air conditioned office building I can pretend it's 60 degrees outside and smells like rain. The weathercasters are promising us a reprieve from the oppressive heat, but I don't believe them. One channel says it'll be stormy and 99 by Tuesday (which in Phoenix in August is like saying we're getting an arctic front). Another says no, just some clouds and 105. Either way, I have decided I've had enough and I called my dad this weekend to ask to borrow the cabin in Flagstaff this coming weekend. They said yes, and now I can look happily forward to 75 degree days and beautiful skies. Ah, it seems so far away...

On a completely unrelated note, please keep my friend Jeniffer in your prayers if you do such things. She's had one hell of a challenging medical week, and I'm very worried about her. Thanks.
Posted 10:25 AM by Kerry O.