thursday, august 29 :::
 
+ Hangin' in there +
I didn't think anyone actually read this, Little One, but a little birdie just asked me if I'm okay because I haven't written in a couple of days. I'm fine, and you're fine, as far as I know. I just have training this week, so while I'm thinking about you all the time (sometimes too much!), I'm not writing to you much. Today had quite a bit of cramping, and my tummy's quite upset. I still think it's diet, but it's a little disconcerning, I won't lie. Today is 12 weeks!!! Can you believe that? In 6 days, that first trimester is o-v-e-r. Thank God for your healthy beginning so far. I'll keep hoping and praying that it stays that way for both of us. Today was also the first day I've worn a truly "maternity" piece of clothing to work. I wanted to wear my new capris from Target ($18 capris - under $4 on sale, thankyouverymuch!), but they're still just a little too big. I'm wearing this super-duper comfy, stylish white maternity shirt over my way-too-tight jeans. :-) With my white socks and black shoes, I almost think I look cute! Note: I said almost. Ha!

::: posted by Kerry at 1:31 PM



tuesday, august 27 :::
 
+ Another day +
Today was a little harder. I had some cramping which worried me, but I think you just didn't like the junk food I ate all day! We re-scheduled our Dr. appointment, so we're actually going to see or hear you again on 9/9 instead of 9/12. Daddy is going to school for one more class so he can be a teacher, and he has class right when we were going to go to the doctor. So, we'll see you on 9/9 instead! Can't wait. You're almost 12 weeks "old" in there, and we're about 9 days from the end of the first trimester. Guess things are rolling right along now, aren't they? I feel like we're making progress when one of the websites I visited stopped counting how much time is left in months, and started counting in weeks. Only about 26 weeks! When you think about that, it seems right around the corner, even though I know it's not.

::: posted by Kerry at 3:40 PM



monday, august 26 :::
 
+ 25%, 1/4, 0.25 +
Well, baby, we're nearing the end of our 11th week, and we are officially 1/4 of the way there. This actually comforts me a lot. I'm happy to know that we're making progress. But I'm happier to know that I can be slightly more worry-free as we progress into 3/4 of this pregnancy. In a little over a week, our first trimester will be done, and we can relax just a little more. I have a little more energy now, but this weekend saw a lot more mood swings than I've been used to. That doesn't always make me the most pleasant person to be around, and I am trying really hard not to irritate the people around me!

::: posted by Kerry at 8:15 AM



thursday, august 22 :::
 
+ 11 weeks +
Not much to add. We're doing okay, even if my pants are too tight and my back hurts. :-) I still feel great for the most part, and want you to be happy in there. A friend gave me a nice book today, so this weekend I can rest, relax, and read about happy fuzzy feelings and daydream about holding you in my arms. That sounds beautiful right now!

::: posted by Kerry at 3:26 PM



tuesday, august 20 :::
 
+ Snickers +
Okay, will you stop making me crave Snickers bars already? It's not the chocolate, or the nuts, or the caramel - it's the whole thing all rolled up together. You wanted tomato soup last night, so we did that and now that's the other thing on my stomach's mind. I think I could eat tomato soup (with lots of pepper) for 3 meals a day. With Snickers bars in between. I guess the soup's okay, but I really can't justify living on Snickers bars.

The books say you're developing quickly now, with pigmented eyes, real fingers and toes, growing body hair follicles and taste buds! You're about 1.25 inch long, which still seems so tiny, but you're growing all the time. My tummy's still growing too, with my uterus about the size of a grapefruit. I think my tipped uterus is irritating my bladder, which isn't fun, and I think I should talk to the Dr. about that next month. I can't wait for that appointment, and I'm looking forward to finding out more about you. Hang tough in there. We've got 2 weeks and 2 days until the first trimester is over. Then we can just enjoy the ride together!

::: posted by Kerry at 11:47 AM



monday, august 19 :::
 
+ Dreaming +
Wow, I'm having some of the most vivid, complicated dreams I've ever had. People told me that would happen, and that I'd dream about people from my past. I am, and it's weird. All of these people from my childhood, high school, online, and the present are sometimes in the same dream. When the dreams first started coming, they were almost nightmares, or at least intensely thriller-type dreams. Now they're just strange dramatic plays, like renewing my vows with your daddy and a million things going wrong. Anyway, I'm still sleeping plenty (read: tons), and my energy is still mostly down. I have flashes of energy for a few hours, and then crash. But I'm feeling generally great. This weekend, you'll get to go to your Grandma and Grandpa's cabin for the first time. We're borrowing it for a much-needed mid-Summer getaway. It's just so hot in Phoenix, and it drains what tiny bit of energy I have left. Maybe the mountain air will refresh us all!

::: posted by Kerry at 9:06 AM



friday, august 16 :::
 
+ Communing +
Did you hear the conversation I had with you last night? Okay, it was pretty one-sided, but I told you all kinds of interesting things. I hope you get used to my voice and like it. I sing to you too, but I'm always singing (especially in the car by myself), so I'm really hoping the sound of my singing will soothe you when you're out here with us. You might be growing in there, and I my physical shape may be changing, but I'm not gaining any weight. In fact, I weighed less at my Dr. appointment than I did before I was pregnant with you, and I weigh less now than I did at the appointment. Not a lot less, maybe only 2-3 pounds total. But I suppose I should probably be eating more. I am just glad I'm so crazy about taking my vitamins. I know you're at least getting those nutrients. I'm going to go to the tummy Dr. on 9/5, a week before we see you again, to make sure my Celiac isn't causing problems and I'm absorbing all the nutrients we need. Keep your fingers crossed. Okay, that might be hard for you, so I'll do it for us.

::: posted by Kerry at 11:25 AM



thursday, august 15 :::
 
+ 10 weeks +
Hello, baby! Can you believe you've been hanging out in there for 10 weeks already? Amazing! My coworkers know about you now, and everyone's very excited about watching me grow and someday being able to see you moving around. It's nice to have other people around me excited too. I still wish we could have a Dr. appointment to see you sooner, but I supposed it will be here before we know it. You're still growing and pushing my tummy out little by little. This is making my clothes a little uncomfortable, but I've been wearing loose sunny dresses this week, so it's actually just fine. The last couple of days, I've been feeling really good. Every once in a while, I get a quick flash of pretty major nausea, and it disappears almost as fast as it comes. Other than that, and still being a little sleepy, we're doing just fine!

::: posted by Kerry at 8:21 AM



tuesday, august 13 :::
 
+ 7 months +
Seven calendar months from today is your due date. Surely I won't be delivering on this day (that almost never happens), but in 7 months hopefully I will be close to, or just finished with delivery. If everything goes right, sometime around 7 months from now, I will be holding you in my arms. What an amazing concept! Of course, I have more than 30 weeks before that date, which makes it seem oh so much longer. I'm really not in a hurry; we have SO much to do before you get here. Ugh. I'd better get on that, huh? We have started shopping for you, but your uncle Chris needs to empty your room of his belongings first. One of these days, he should have that done and we can really get started!

::: posted by Kerry at 10:54 AM



monday, august 12 :::
 
+ Mondays +
I'm having a fabulous pregnant day! No upset tummy at all, my awful headache from yesterday went away, I got plenty of sleep, and I have none of the weird achey things I usually have. Thanks for giving mommy a break today! I had to break down and buy a maternity/prenatal bra on Saturday because I was hurting so much. But they like the new bra and everything's much happier in that department now. One month from today we get to see you again. What you happily do not know is that one month from today will be one day after a very bad anniversary for our country. But you'll learn all about that in history class in a few years so I won't worry you with it now. I'm just happy that you've given me something wonderful and joyous to think about on September 11th. It's proof that the world continues and the cycle of life never ends. What a miracle!

::: posted by Kerry at 10:59 AM



friday, august 9 :::
 
+ Good things +
I ran across this today, and on a day when I'm only feeling so-so, it's something I am sure will make me smile for months. I know you're in there, and it seems in the last couple of days, I'm starting to show (to myself). Nobody else can tell, but I can. Your daddy and I made a bet about when I'd really start showing. I guessed in a month and a half. He guessed three. Silly daddy. Of course, I hope he's right, but I doubt it highly.

::: posted by Kerry at 9:25 AM



thursday, august 8 :::
 
+ Nine Weeks +
You're hanging in there, little one! Today is 9w0d and our risk of losing you decreases all the time. I'm now definitely feeling my body changing. I can no longer "suck in" my tummy. It's fairly firm and definitely pooched. No, I'm not showing, and probably don't really look different, but it feels different, and I can tell it's on its way to growing big. Sleeping on my tummy is just not comfortable, and my hips are annoyed from me sleeping half on my side. But I don't want to squish you in there. :-) I know I can't, but I still worry sometimes. Wish we could see you again. Someone needs to invent a permanent, attachable ultrasound so I can flick a switch on a monitor somewhere and just watch you wriggling around in there. That would be fabulous. Of course, I wouldn't get any work done, at work or at home. That's maybe not such a good idea after all.

::: posted by Kerry at 2:17 PM



wednesday, august 7 :::
 
+ Sleepyhead +
You should have closed eyelids now. Tomorrow is 9w0d and you're entering some exciting times in your development. Now that our first appointment is a week history, it seems the next can't be here soon enough. I am still treasuring every day of this, and thinking of you calmly, but anxious at the same time. I just want to know for sure that you're okay in there, and I'm okay out here. So, I dream of you and talk to you and wait for more info about you. That's all I can do for now. I'm still writing in my real journal for you, so you'll have that to read someday. It isn't daily, but it's pretty complete. I hope you like it, though you'll surely think I'm weird. I don't mind.

::: posted by Kerry at 3:24 PM



monday, august 5 :::
 
+ Shopping +
This weekend, we looked at lots of new things for you. But we were all good, and nobody bought anything. Your daddy and I were having a conversation about the many ways we can decorate your room, just starting to think of ideas. So I had to drag him halfway across the city to Babies R Us so he could look at cribs and bedding sets. He loved it! He had to look at every single crib, every single bedding set, and the "most important thing" - every single mobile in the store. It was a blast. Then yesterday, my mother and I spent a good part of the day at the mall shopping in all the baby and maternity stores we've never been in. She noticed I have this nasty habit of looking at only girl clothes. But truth be told, they're cuter! At the moment, I'm sticking by my boy story, and your daddy thinks so too. I guess in a few weeks, we'll know for sure.

::: posted by Kerry at 1:59 PM



friday, august 2 :::
 
+ Reality +
Well, Baby O., we see you!!! The Dr. visit was a raging success, and we got the ultrasound we'd hoped for. You're about 17 mm (little over 1/2 inch) long, and you're all head and heart right now. We see your little legs and arms and brain, but that heart! Your daddy and I were both stunned to see that huge heart beating away so fast, giving you blood and nutrients to build. I tell you, if your presence was unreal to me before, it's anything but unreal now. I have a picture of you to keep me company now. We get to go back in 6 weeks, on 9/12 and see you again. You're measuring perfect, so just stay that way!

::: posted by Kerry at 7:39 AM



thursday, august 1 :::
 
+ Doctor, Doctor!+
Today's the day, Baby O. We have our Doctor's appointment in under 4 hours. I'm leaving work in less than 3 to go get your daddy and head on downtown to the Doctor's office. I'm so excited, and nervous too. It's been so long since I took those little First Response tests and saw the 2 little lines... it's almost like maybe I'll find out they're not true. It will seem so much more real after the appointment, I hope. Anyway, we'll have more information later, so I'll make sure to post some more by tomorrow at least. Oh, how I hope we get to see you!

::: posted by Kerry at 10:54 AM