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Tuesday, April 30, 2002

Friends ** Um, yeah. I had a great big friends post here. I changed my mind. I don't feel like spending the next week on the phone with my friends, explaining myself. They will undoubtedly not get what I was saying. Sometimes venting does more harm than good.

Why? ** Why don't I have normal friends? I attract the most unusual friends, I swear.

Clomiphene Day One ** Today I will take my first Clomid. Boy, I hope this stuff works. The last few days have been nice, and fairly relaxing. I've been trying to keep things mellow and simple, so that's probably why I haven't posted here a lot. I know my last few entries have been boring, and I promise to do something about that.

Monday, April 29, 2002

Move along now ** Get out of my county! I guess it's good to have increasing population, in terms of economic growth (and property values). But c'mon! Our little corner of the desert is home to 3.19 million people? We're going to run out of water by next year!

Another weekend, gone ** It was a nice weekend, but entirely too short. The National History Day state finals were fun, but it always gives me mixed feelings. I love to see the kids who win, the excitement in their eyes as they realize they get to go to Washington, D.C. But I hate seeing the kids who don't. Some were mad, a few cried. There are times when I wish it didn't have to be a competitive forum. But it is, and that's the way it goes. As a kid, I got to experience both sides, and I got over it. I know they will too.

We gave in and bought the expansion pack for the Settlers, and had lots of people over to play Saturday night. Sunday we planted 3 bushes and bought Princess a puppy bed - she has taken to sleeping in my laundry basket lately. That is not acceptable!

Friday, April 26, 2002

10 acres and a mule ** Neat Earth Day Footprint Quiz found from Gretchen. I "use" 19 acres vs. the 24 average for our country, and we would need 4.3 planets if everyone lived like me. That's pretty sobering, isn't it?

We are family ** My dear Aunt Flo, it is unbelievably wonderful to see you again. After 4 very long months, you have come to visit me and I'm so happy you're here. Please, make yourself comfortable during your stay. (And can I just say, OW! I am one gigantic cramp from knees to shoulders!)

Thursday, April 25, 2002

Wednesday, April 24, 2002

Mmmmmmm, coconut ** We had lunch at P.F. Chang's today. Soooo good. Makes me want to pull a George Costanza and curl up under my desk. Good food is just what I needed today. I even have leftovers for dinner tonight!

Poor me ** Whew! Sorry about the poor me post. I was just re-reading it. I guess after reading through all that insurance stuff and medical stuff I kind of freaked myself out. No, it still sucks, don't get me wrong. But I'm young, and we're at the beginning of this process. We have lots of time to learn, and maybe that's a good thing. Besides, now I'm getting sick and I need to go back to thinking positively, not panicking, so I can prevent it. Positive thinking and Odwalla Strawberry C-Monster ought to do the trick!

Tuesday, April 23, 2002

These are the days we'll remember ** It's interesting the turns my life has taken these last few months. I spent a good part of my lunch break today reviewing my insurance coverage for infertility treatments and medication. This is not what I thought we were going to have to deal with. Don't get me wrong, I'm not crying a river, I'm not even stressed out about it. It's just another set of (complicated?) steps for the most coveted pot of gold at the end. I was pleased to find that my insurance is very generous (100% of infertility meds up to lifetime max of $6K, 100% of infertility treatments up to $20,000 lifetime max), but equally puzzled that I would have to be researching this at all. Yeah, part of me figured it would "just happen," but part of me thinks it just figures. Who knows what will happen? I know we want children, and I know now that it's not as easy as a romp in the sheets. Suddenly I have a lot more to learn about, and a lot more to pray about. It's been easy staying calm so far, so I hope it stays that way. Just don't ask me if there's "any news yet" or I might just go off. ;-)

Busy-ness ** Sorry I haven't written in a couple of days. Word on the street is that my employers, who are flexible with personal internet use during non-work time (before/after shifts, lunch break, etc.), are spying on our use during work time. I can't say I blame them, exactly. But I'm busy in spurts, and when I'm not busy, I have nothing to do but look at the internet.

Anyway, quick update on the weekend... Friday night was another D-Backs game, only they lost this time. :-( Still had fun with Melissa and her season tickets. Saturday was a day trip to Jerome with Joe, Chris and Mason. We had such a fabulous time! I love Jerome. Joe now knows if he ever really wants to give me a romantic gift, it will be a night in the Jerome Grand Hotel. Trust me on this; it's friggin' awesome. Sunday we played our new board game with Chris and Mason at my mom's and bbq'd some buffalo burgers. :-)

Last night, I took my last Provera. It's still not doing what it's supposed to be doing, but the doctor said Aunt Flo might take up to 10 more days to come. Boy, I hope she's right. I don't think I can start the Clomid until she gets here. So that's the big hold-up still!

Friday, April 19, 2002

Results ** So I finally got a call back from my doctor. The verdict? My blood tests were fine, there was nothing alarming, and nothing abnormal. That means the problem is still my brain-to-ovaries communication path. That means Clomid. I'm very happy with this. I don't care who you are or what might or might not be "wrong" with you, but whenever you have blood drawn and tests run, the nerves start working overtime. I didn't expect them to find anything wrong, but I was so afraid they would. Knowing the problem is what we thought it was, and it's probably something we can overcome, is good news. So there we go. I'm calling for the Clomid today, in case Aunt Flo comes to visit this weekend (she's still not here...) and I need to start taking it. Cross your fingers for a little one on the way by the end of summer. That's my goal.

Meanwhile, 3 of my net friends sound like they're actively progressing towards holding their little ones for the first time. They'll probably all deliver on the same day - wouldn't that be funny?

Thursday, April 18, 2002

Annoying ** I was supposed to have my blood work results Wednesday. Today is Thursday. Thursday is not Wednesday. I've had to leave a message with the nurse, and I really want her to call me back so I know if I need to start panicking or not.

Blame Canada ** I like Canada. I like Canadians. Please don't start a war with them. They're nice people.

Wednesday, April 17, 2002

Teaching ** Second-grade little girl to Joe, yesterday: "Teacher! Teacher! [Boy's name] out there said... said... said the 'F-word!'" Joe to little girl, after some thought: "Well, I didn't hear him say it, so I'll listen and if he does it again, I'll take care of it." Little girl looks blankly at Joe for a few seconds, then says: "You're not a real teacher, are you?"

Tuesday, April 16, 2002

Better ** My mood is improving. Positive thinking will do that to you.

I can see the destiny you sold, turned into a shining band of gold ** The sky matches my mood today. I am trying so hard not to show everyone around me what a cranky, pissy, bitter mood I'm in today. I must say, I'm doing quite well. Everyone's being very friendly, and not showing any sign that they see how unpleasant I feel. Maybe that will snap me out of it. Joe's first day of substitute teaching is today. That is a very good thing! We got into a screaming, crying fight last night (on my part, of course). That is not a very good thing! I think I'm PMS-ing for the first time in 4 months, or at least my hormones are out of whack on this Provera. I hope that's all it is. I don't want to feel like I did last night for a long, long time.

Monday, April 15, 2002

Sick ** I know in my mind I live in a fantasy world of my own making. It's not pure fiction, just slightly... altered. :-) In other words, I hold out futile hope that things in the "real" world aren't really as bad as they seem. Then, from nowhere, reality slaps me in the face with another disgusting display of yet something else being very very wrong indeed. Riding the elevators up to work this morning, I noted that there was a strange area of the wood paneling ground down through the layers, in a roughly round area of about 6 inches in diameter. It looked tacky, and I thought, "Why in the world would Prudential allow someone to do that? Damn construction people." Now, when I started here last July, I was next door in "Paradise 1." This building was a foundation. It opened to us I think in early September or late August. It's brand-new. So, about an hour and a half later, my friend wants to go downstairs for a breather. We ride in a different elevator, and it has the same weird worn-out spot, about 6 inches in diameter, in the same spot. What the --? I asked my friend, "Did you see this? What is that all about? I saw it in the other elevator." She looks at the other person in the elevator, then back at me and said, "I'll tell you about that later." Um, okay. We walk outside, where we're alone, and she proceeds to tell me...

"Remember the Fire Drill last week [Thursday]? Well, when we were coming back up in the elevator, there were about 3 of us, and the fire drill notice that had been taped inside the elevator came loose and fell off. Beneath it, someone had carved, hard, into the wood 'KKK.' There was a black man standing next to me, and the look on his face was awful. It turns out the other elevator, the one we were just in, had a swastika. All of them had something. They had to grind them out."

Sick. Truly sick. Can you imagine what it must have felt like for that man to see that, and know that someone in this building did it? It makes me feel disgusted and embarrassed to think that someone could do that. Fortunately, someone reported it to the Ethics Line, and security made sure it was remedied quickly. But I personally think they should leave the elevators scarred as a reminder of how scarring something like that can really be.

Weekend fun ** Well, I had a very productive - and lazy weekend. Friday evening, a couple of friends at our house turned into a party. I fell asleep on the couch while some of our friends ended up playing board games until 3 a.m.! Saturday morning, Joe and Mom and I went to AZ Mills, and found perfect slipcovers at the JC Penny outlet store. They look like these, in brick red. We found pretty silver embossed satin pillows at Ross for $5.99, so we have 4 of those for accent on the 2 sofas.

Then I spent the rest of the day while Joe was at work, folding and tucking the slipcovers, and re-doing most of the master bedroom. I dismantled and removed our old bed, and constructed the new simple bedframe. I put the wood and mattress on it, rolled it over to sit on the wall under the other window, and moved all the furniture around to support the new look. I had to move 57 boxes of baseball cards (slight exaggeration) into a neat stack in the corner of the office, and suddenly our bedroom looks HUGE! I had no idea how much the former layout and bed frame minimized the space in there. I'm still adjusting to sleeping in a different place, and even the puppy slept most of the night on the floor because she was so confused.

So yesterday morning was just for laundry and dishes, and then I sat around with Chris all day while he played Simpsons Road Rage. It was nice to relax and enjoy a WARM (it was 100 yesterday), lazy Sunday afternoon completely guilt-free!

Friday Five - So Very Late **
1. What is your favorite restaurant and why? Pre-Celiac, it was probably Pizzeria Bianco, though waiting 2 hours for dinner usually sucked. Now, I'd have to say Havana Cafe or Carlos O'Briens.

2. What fast food restaurant are you partial to? Super-fast food, probably Taco Bell. My options are kind of limited. Pseudo-fast-food, I'd much prefer Baja Fresh or Chipotle.

3. What are your standards and rules for tipping? Starting at 15%, I generally work my way up for better service. If the service is generally good, or I'm a regular (like Carlos O'Briens), I pretty much go for 20% and round up to make an even bill (i.e. $16.10, I'll leave $20.00). If someone stinks, I might lower it to 10%, but I will usuallyl feel guilty about it. All those years as a waitress have tainted me.

4. Do you usually order an appetizer and/or dessert? No. Most of the time people we eat with, especially my step-sister and her husband, will order an appetizer, but I know better. I simply get too full. Besides, most of the time it's fried/battered stuff, which I can't eat. If it's a special occasion, everyone else is doing it, and we have plenty of time, I might order dessert. But then usually only for sharing.

5. What do you usually order to drink at a restaurant? Depends on the time of day and type of restaurant. Lunch it's usually iced tea. If I haven't had any soda that day, I might get a Dr. Pepper. Dinner at a restaurant with a bar, it's often a margarita or glass of wine, or more iced tea.

Friday, April 12, 2002

Warning: Too much information ahead... Read at your own risk... ** Whew! My girlie doctor visit went very well. I really like this nurse practitioner I saw. She was very intelligent, explained everything well, asked the right questions, and even knew what Celiac is. The pregnancy test was negative (shocker!), so we're starting at the beginning of what might, but hopefully won't be a long process. They did blood tests, and made me bleed into 3 vials! They're running a battery of amenhorrea (lack of menstruation) tests, which should be back by Wednesday. She said we'll be talking on the phone a lot, starting next week. She gave me a prescription for something I have to take for 10 days to jump-start my cycle. When it starts, it will be the starting point for whatever's next. Most likely, my brain is either not telling my ovaries what to do, or something is interfering (could be hormonal, thyroid, anything). Whatever the case, if it's just the message getting lost, which is most common, then I will be taking Clomid. As she put it, Clomid is basically like whispering to my ovaries "Make an egg, make an egg" for 5 days each cycle. We'll do that for 3-6 months, and if nothing happens, we'll start all the fun fertility stuff. Hopefully we won't get that far. The increased chance of multiples on Clomid is 1 in 10 for twins, 1 in 100 for triplets. Physically, she doesn't think I would have any problem carrying either, and I told her that Joe and I had already discussed and accepted that possibility.

So that's where we are. I should know more when the blood work comes back. In the meantime, I have to get this prescription filled and brace myself for a doozy of a cycle. My body has had almost 4 months to save up for this one. She recommended keeping ibuprofen handy for the cramps. Joy.

Thursday, April 11, 2002

Do it myself ** Has anyone tackled making slipcovers for sofas? I'm planning to make 2 this weekend, and I'm just starting my research on how to do it. I'm not the Queen of Sewing, so this ought to be amusing. Any tips I need to know? Am I insane for even thinking about doing this? I'm pondering the no-sew, iron-together version I found here at the moment. We'll see...

Ugh ** 7 a.m. is way too early to start work. Since the time change (AZ doesn't change, but everyone else does), we're now 3 hours behind the East Coast, so they have asked us to consider coming in early. I'm officially on the 7:00 - 3:30 shift now. Fortunately, there is no traffic, parking's a breeze, and I get home early. Unfortunately, I am not a morning person. Tomorrow I have a girlie doctor appointment (where I will hopefully start to get some answers!), so I have one last "late" day before going to 7:00 daily. Yuck.

Wednesday, April 10, 2002

How I love to hate you ** That post below, and the story it referenced, led me to a website which has now won my coveted "current least favorite website" award. It is here. With such fabulous issues as covenant marriage, anti-gay and pro-life news, and more, it's simply a fabulous site to dislike. I do love this country and the variety of beliefs we are entitled to hold (despite the fact that folks like this try to destroy that). It makes life more interesting.

Silence ** I'd like to say my silence today was because of this, but it's really because I'm quite busy. I'll tell you what that link is about, though, since I know most people don't bother clicking on it. Nationally, students are observing a day of silence in respect for their gay and lesbian teen classmates, handing out cards explaining why. I think it's brilliant, and if I'd known, I would have tried to do something to help. All too often, gay/lesbian teens suffer discrimination and danger at the hands of ignorant others (read: teachers, adults, teens whose ignorant parents should be flogged, etc.). And Mr. Gary McCaleb, I will pray that you sleep well at night, though I doubt it highly. Your dreams are surely haunted by the demons you create in your own mind.

Tuesday, April 09, 2002

The pain of living ** OMG, I have the most painful wound right now! I think it's a cold sore (I've never had one, but that's what I've been told it is). It's right in the center of my bottom lip. It's annoying most of the time; I started getting it late Saturday evening. But it's trying to heal, and the outer part is coming off. I just put medicine on it for the first time since this morning and it hurt enough to make me cry. Holy crap, it hurts. You people who get these all the time, how do you handle it? This is awful!

Truly Tuesday ** The puppy is home! How attached we have become to her, how necessary her bone-gnawing noises are to our good nights' sleep! She was a little odd yesterday, seemingly confused by her changing environment and the lack of other Scotties to wrestle with and sleep on. But a little good-natured chasing around the house and tennis-ball-fetching, and she's almost back to normal. I missed her more than I'm willing to fully admit.

Monday, April 08, 2002

Hi, California! We love you, California! Oy! ** We are back from a wonderful Southern California visit. Allow me to publicly thank Jeniffer and Scott for their warm hospitality. We had a fabulous time, visiting, bbq'ing, game playing and seeing Disney's California Adventure. The latter was especially fun, and considering the last time I came for a visit (besides their wedding), we went to Knott's Berry Farm, I sense a theme park motif to our visits! Really, it was a fun time, and I wish our visits weren't so far apart. Hopefully they'll come to visit us soon, too, and we'll return before long. Two days were simply not enough.

Israel vs. Palestine ** This is almost exactly what I've been wanting to say forever, but never had the time to craft so eloquently. Have I mentioned recently how much I love and respect my brother? Probably not. I should say that more often.

Friday, April 05, 2002

Friday Five! **
1. What are the first things that you do in the morning to start your day? I roll over and basically nuzzle the puppy until she stirs and licks my nose. Then I usually lay there for a few minutes petting her before I start my bathroom getting-ready routine. If Joe's home and not working (he's home 95% of the time in the morning), he takes the puppy outside to go potty. If he's working, I do.

2. What are the last things that you do at night before going to bed? Turn off the TV, make sure the puppy goes potty one more time, lock the doors, brush my teeth, set the security alarm, change my clothes and crawl into bed.

3. What daily routine have you recently added to your day? Getting something together in the morning for lunch that day. I've been trying to be good about bringing my lunch to work.

4. What routine do you wish you get rid of? Rushing off to work 10 minutes before I'm supposed to be there. I don't like having to rush, and winding up 10 minutes late to work every day, but it's become part of my schedule. I'm working on that.

5. What's the one thing that makes you feel like something is missing if you don't do it some point within your day? Kisses for my husband and my puppy. If I don't get to see them both and tell them I love them, something is amiss. She's at puppy-daycare for the weekend, and I already feel off-kilter this morning without my fuzzy black Scottie baby. At least I have Joe. :-)

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name ** Well, it has a name. It's "Mommy's Car." I'm out of work at noon, then Joe and I get to schlep across the desert in mom's 2002 Sonata. She didn't want us driving the Metro, even though it is in great condition and used to be hers! She's pulled that mom "I want you to be safe" trump card, and we swapped cars. While I love driving this car (even if it is huge compared to my little car), I am always nervous behind its wheel. It's fully insured, and so am I, but it still makes me nervous. Hopefully everything will go smoothly and we'll be there in no time. We're coming, Jen! The puppy's at my father and step-mother's house (she went over yesterday - it was strange sleeping without her last night), and the fish is at my mom's. All the grandparents are getting early babysitting practice, even if the "grandkids" are swimming and barking. It's good for them.

Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful weekend. "See" you on Monday!

Thursday, April 04, 2002

Wah Wah Wah ** My neighbors are whining that roof rats have tarnished the Holier-than-Thou image of our neighborhood. On the upside, people are developing a more close-knit community around here than ever before. Still... Drop it. Your house is still worth a crapload more than it was when you bought it. Sheesh.

The sky is falling! ** Chicken Little has 877 years to make a ruckus.

One more day, tra-la-la ** Just one more day until we get to go see Jen and Scott! I can't wait. I'm really getting excited now. And Jen, I can't email you from my internet addy. My home computer has been kaput since the weekend. I can't check Delphi, either. Sorry guys. Post here if you need/want to talk to me. :-)

BTW, as far as those D-Backs rings yesterday, check this out. It's even a front-page news story on azcentral. Go figure.

Wednesday, April 03, 2002

Good Grief! ** The number of rings on eBay keeps rising and look at this! The Buy It Now option is for $150?!?! Holy shimoly! For a little chunk of metal? I mean, I'm glad I got one and all, but geez!

BTW, saw a license plate a couple of weeks ago with the coolest personalization ever. It seems appropriate right now. Arizona license plate number "OMG WTF". Priceless.

Lemmings ** The game last night was awesome! Curt Schilling dominated, Kim got his first win, and first appearance since blowing games 4 and 5 in the World Series last year (and subsequently earning the title of "New York's Favorite Pitcher"), I got a cool tacky gold World Series replica ring, and so on. (Incidentally, eBay had 2 rings for auction as of this morning, and now they have about 10 - expect dozens by tomorrow). Of course, I appeared to have left my brain at home and I left my ticket at dinner (got it back), then dropped Chris's inside the ballpark before going back out to find him (got it back), couldn't get money because the ATM was broken (never did get money), and just generally brain-farted all night.

But we lucked into finding a hidden line, after dodging around lines that were thousands and thousands of people long, many of whom had been standing in those lines for hours. We got in line, got inside, and got our replica rings in somewhere around 15-20 minutes. It was astounding how many people walked up to the ballpark and stopped, in a mass throng of people not remotely resembling a line, and bitched and moaned about the fact that the "line" wasn't moving. Um, leave the throng, walk to the rest of the entrances and turnstiles lining the front of the ballpark, and you might be able to get in sooner, or at least some more air to breathe and less B.O. Ember and I tried telling people this... they thought we were lying. They seriously thought we were messing with them. They demanded to see the ring as proof that we'd already been inside. Idiots! What is it going to hurt you if you leave this line to check things out a hundred feet away? You'll have to turn around and re-join the throng? Are you really losing a "place" in "line?" Whatever.

Anyway, once inside, it was a lovely evening, and a fabulous game. C'mon, D-Backs scored 7 runs in the second inning, including a big fat Grand Slam by Damian Miller. If that's not a World Champion team, I don't know what is.

Sorry for the baseball post. I am just very happy baseball is back now. Look at it on the bright side... there are only 160 games left for me to talk about. ;-)

Tuesday, April 02, 2002

Baseball ** Off to the ball game! Keep your fingers crossed for those D-Backs.

There is a God ** After that post below, I returned to to see this! Amen! News happens fast in this state.

Shudder to think ** This is horrifying. If you know anything about our "beloved" sheriff, you'll understand. Ick.

Stand by your man ** Joe has an interview today with Scottsdale Public School District for substitute teaching. I'm sure he'll get it, but I still get nervous for him. I just hope he likes subbing. He's always toyed with the idea of being a teacher, and this way he will get a little experience to help him decide. Not to mention a little extra income. That would be nice too.

My brother is getting better, I think. He has pink eye. He visited us for a little bit last night and his eyes looked a little clearer. Hi, Chris! See you at the Diamondbacks game tonight! Replica rings and r e p e a t season, here we come!

April Foolery ** Wil made a funny. I was actually going to make a little congratulatory comment, but boy am I glad I didn't. I'm gulley-ball lately.

Monday, April 01, 2002

Fun fun fun 'til Prudential takes the T-Bird away ** I would pay money not to be here today. It's been an unpleasant day all around. On the upside, I am proud of myself for handling it well. A lesser person would have cracked under the strain today.

Opening Day ** Alas, I will not be attending the Opening Day for the D'Backs because it is a day game, and I'm choosing not to play hooky. My friend Melissa here is taking a half-day to go, though, and I'm horribly jealous. If I had chosen to go, I could have used one of these excuses. Too funny! I'll go to tomorrow night's game, though, and not need any excuses at all!

No fooling ** I am not an April Fool-er, fortunately for those around me. Ever since my childhood fooling bonanzas (switched my parents' huge identical dressers around - not just the drawers, which would have been smarter and easier - no, the whole things), I haven't had much of a taste for practical joking. Hope you all have trick-free days today too.

This was a lovely weekend in sunny Arizona. Temps in the low 90's, we got much done. Friday night, we had dinner with Joe's Mormon cousins and found a great new board game. Saturday we worked very hard in the yard for several hours, then I went to Embers to color eggs and play chess with her girls. Yesterday, a beautiful church service at church, lunch with mom and Joe at Arriba, then a few hours of ceiling fan installation in every bedroom. We had no major problems installing the fans, thank God, and they look fabulous! Just in time for the heat. Tonight we're going to buy a new bed frame and get rid of our current one, and we have a list of things to do the weekend after next, when we're back from L.A. It seems we aren't doing Spring cleaning as much as Spring remodeling! We even inherited a crib and sheet set from Ember. No, no news yet. I think I'm broken. That's a story for another day.